A Typical Day of a Slave

by Aramock Nanuck

     April 2009

D/s is our reality; it is not a fantasy. Nor is it a game, but threads woven are into all of our life. There is not an area of your life that D/s does not affect- does not touch. If we were not to have BDSM activity for a week, the BDSM falls away, so the D/s must be a part of life 24/7. The submission needs to be there still. The control of your Dominant needs to be there still. The Power exchange is always there. Downplaying the D/s might occur slightly, but it is NEVER turned off.
Living not Playing it

Many curious individuals ask what a typical day is, so now this is an attempt to put a lifestyle understanding of this existence here. Let’s clear the air before the start; if you live the alternative, there is no such thing as playtime; it is always "on" for the aficionados. This way of living is a form of existence which pre-dates written history. Modern adaptations have many deep and personal aspects, so there is no universal standard for a "normal day" for a BDSM relationship, just like there is none for a "vanilla" couple.  

History Lessons

Much like in the days of southern or Roman slavery, the lifestyle exhibits varying levels of control over the daily aspects and activities of a submissive's life. However, unlike slaves of history, the submissive chose this lifestyle; they chose to give themselves to their Dominant. A slave in the BDSM lifestyle lives in a total power exchange relationship with their Dominant by their choice and willingness to give themselves to another. Some say a slave's only escape is the death of their partner, but this is not really the case in a proper relationship, no the extent of the commitment. An individual can choose to no longer be a slave by either ending the relationship or redefining their role with their partner.



It's a cliché, but a BDSM relationship is a relationship first. At its core, BDSM has all the things that other relationships do only more intensely -- honesty, trust, and open communication. It is this concept that all relationships work. The daily life of a slave in the household changes with the terms of the relations, the individual, their level of commitment, and the training they are exposed to. No two relationships are the same, and nor are any two slaves who enter this lifestyle.


 Experience Levels

There are four basic categories of the experience that determines sets the tone for training as a part of the daily rituals:

  • Novice (or newbies, those individuals who have not physically experienced lifestyle activities)

  • Basic (less than two years’ experience or casual experience of no mid (1-3 month) or long-term engagements)

  • Casual (periodic involvement)

  • Experienced (those having actively participated for more than two years in real experiences and have lived the situation in real terms for longer than 3 months.)


 Kink Focus

 I, for now, completely will ignore toilet slaves.; however, driving many of the remaining types are their interests or focus:

  • Pet

  • Littles

  • Domestic

  • Pain

  • Sex

  • Combo

  • No-Limits



The term also affects the relationship whether they are:

  • Trial periods (up to 3 months  real-life live in RLLI experience )

  • Short-term (3 months to 1 year  RLLI) 

  • Mid-term (2 years to 4 years RLLI)

  • Long-term (over 4 years RLLI) or 

  • Permanent (no end date usually accompanied by rights to transfer or resell).


Combinations and Permutations

Based on the agreement established, the dominant decides the intensity, duration, and activities the slave undertakes. The significant features arise from defining a situation that most elaborates the slave's experience and maximizes the opportunity for the individual to grow within the prescribed role.


 Influencing Factors

Some other factors affect the daily scenario and activities, but the limits form the basis for these largely as reactions or the taboos and concerns of a slave. All slaves have some say; unless they surrender all to their Dominant and are limitless. So using these factors, a thoughtful dominant will then determine the slave’s schedule, which changes over time. Kink does not fill much of the day; it has many aspects that can extend into all parts of the day, but it more the dominations, protocol, and supplementary activities that fill the day than kink.



A day is about the control, development, and training subject to the conditions of any agreements. One should set schedules from almost a vanilla house to the most extreme cases of absolute depravity. As for the level of control... it's increased over time and becomes more intense the longer together. Most of it can be as simple as letting your Dominant control what and how you perform duties and interact with others.



The most important aspect of the training is that the slave always addresses all people with respect and total deference. Dom's frequently reserved one title for themselves (I chose “Dominus” for myself; it is the old Roman term for Master in the context of a slave owner and not to be confused with other dominants. I prefer in public to pass as a traditional group leader).


Finding a Balance

Depending on the level of alignment, there are either strict rules or mere guidelines. Dominants will make most of the decisions or define the limits within which a slave may make decisions. If a slave works outside the home, having a framework to make decisions is particularly necessary. Your Dominant may discuss it with you, but you must trust the final decision which is made by your Dominant. You have control over some areas of your life, just because it would be impractical for a Dominant to make the frequent decisions required in a slave’s job. You will still need to ask permission from your Dominant if you want to travel for work or make any other changes in your life.


Pet's are "Special"

All slaves are treated as a person with due respect and thoughtfulness while accepting that your Dominant is in charge. Slaves in a pet role will have a minimal set of liberties, less than all other forms of slaves.  Typically pet’s do NOT work outside the home or have other such entanglements which compel the need for self-direction.


Defining the Day

All of this brings us to the point at which a daily schedule can now be discussed and posed in the light of the limits and liberties ascribed to certain slaves.


  • Pet slaves are let out of their cages and taken to the backyard to pee, etc., under supervision. 

  • Domestic slaves wake every day, draw my bath, prepare and lay out my clothes, and prepare my coffee in the mornings.

  • A sex slave has the additional duty of waking me with a blowjob or ass-licking and, depending on my interest, can expect to be used in other sexual ways. 

  • Pain slaves can expect to have a traditional beating in the morning as a part of their Dominant’s callisthenics ritual.


Your Dominant will; regardless of their role or station:  

  • Assign your tasks for the day, and

  • The wardrobe of the day. 


Special Services
  • If any slave has a license (except pets), one usually drives and acts as a chauffeur.

  • If any of the slaves work, they may go to work when their Dominant does, but on-demand must quit their job if it becomes a distraction to their service to their Dominant. 


During the day
  • All slaves (except pets) must contact their Dominant a minimum of 4 times a day by phone or email. Regular contact ensures that the Dominant makes any decisions as the day progresses and not the slave, except those specific to their job.

  • During the day, the Dominant will assign tasks or activities. Any slave should expect punishment if failing to complete any of these tasks to the Dominant’s satisfaction.

  • Eventually, all slaves will fail to meet their Dominant’s expectations and know that punishment will quickly ensure their failures. Dominants tend actually to design for this to occur. Some of the tasks will seem very bland and benign but are all important to the Dominant, and they are designed to educate you. 

  • Slaves left at home will have two hours for private time or meditation. Slaves who work surrender this luxury for the pleasure of having an outside involvement.


  • On return home, your Dominant will:  

    • Inspect the person of each of the slaves in detail. This ritual and necessary to ensure that no tampering with the bodies occurred outside the accepted limits prescribed.

    • Review the tasks or assignments given to each slave and the results produced.\

    • Inspect the home and its condition

    • Inspect the results of the work; if outside the home.

  • Each slave will receive different levels of intense training in direct relationship to the experience to be had by the slave, respecting the aspects of their focus.  

    • Sex slaves are expected to submit sexually, even outside of the bedroom.

    • Pain slaves will receive the ritual evening abuse.

    • Pet slaves will have their obedience training conducted.

  • Give protocol training to all regardless of stature to work on how well they represent their Dominant in a setting with human beings.


  • Slaves will sit beside Dominant while he carries out his normal routines or interacts with others.

  • Slaves will not sit on the furniture or avail themselves of other comforts unless so instructed by their Dominant.

  • Slaves will always focus on serving their Dominant.


If the Dominant appears frustrated,  

  • Pain slaves will offer themselves as an outlet to release that upset by presenting an article of punishment for them to receive.

  • Sex slaves offer release with mouth and hand. 


At bedtime 
  • Pet will be caged,

  • Domestics will prepare and turn down the Master’s bed

    • Then they may retire to their chambers.

  • Pain slaves, maybe chained and or imprisoned,

  • Sex slaves will relax their Dominant, so he gets the needed rest he needs.  Or sleep at the foot of their Dominants bed eagerly awaiting their morning duties.