Domination without Kink
By: Aramock Nanuck
© 11 December 1993
The question often asked is if there can be absolute domination without the kink? Quickly following this question is another. Does domination automatically evolve into kink? Then as well. Is there some other driver for the intertwining of the two within the BDSM lifestyle?
Real Power is...
The attitude and emphasis on how to manage relationships, NOT:
The titles heaped on oneself!
The trapping exhibited!
The imagery, glamour or styles which surround a person!
The pleasures, rights or freedoms stolen from others.
The tributes demanded by a tyrant!
Primal and Ingrained
Many dominants need to control their lives, the situations around them, and the people they interact with where possible. The exercise of control over people who challenge or, through the evolution of politics, exist at a higher station requires unique talents not found in most people. It is the avoidance of being subservient in environments where high-power stakes and hidden agendas and the lust for power are the actual marks of a dominant no matter their station. The need to control and direct state changes outweighs the basic needs of heat, food, and shelter. Many times, the lust for power in pure dominants exceeds the raw animal sexual needs and tastes in most humans.
Military Breeds Dominance
The whole concept of power from the top dictating control of the action of others exists as a norm in the military mindset. The ability to "order" others into harm's way or act in violent ways against others or even masses of people has been a mainstay of the military. Sexuality primarily played no part in much of the military mind, yet the confluence of power and abuse use sex as another form of violence against the defenceless or subordinates.
Corporate Boardroom Culture
Most board meetings of a Fortune 500 company are in a formal office or boardroom of one of the world's 100 largest corporations. The power exercised in those rooms is a training ground for the contest of wills, dominance, and raw animal predatory exchange. Many people coat it as very charming and fuzzy words, but it is domination all the same without the KINK. The real magicians in the corporate world are those that do so without exhibiting strong negative traits.
The corporate world is a great training ground for dominants. A person is dominant if they can control a room of the most influential people in a global corporation and convince them to decide on a given proposal, effectively DOMINATING the audience. In the same way, at no point does the original part of the demonstration come into play.
What is the Source of Kink?
Ultimately in relationships, it is the deliberate exercise of the power to "take" the dominant desires. It is neither romantic nor even physical but an actual demonstration of the dominance of will. As with all human sexuality, it becomes repetitive quickly, rendering most acts stale and boring. The difference is rather than "just going through the motions," a genuine dominant finds a way to energize the activities, making them exciting and unsure for their partners.
The lack of balance and conformity entices, excites and exhilarates the partner (submissive/slave)' and, through the feedback given to the dominant, energizes them. The dominant feeds on the sensations and responses of the subject partners to sustain their image of control. The process usually continues each time, drawing on more and varied experiences adding to the renewal cycle.
Sex and derivations of it become nothing more than the dominant's expression of control over another's resolve to the point that they submit to the ultimate of human privileges. Kinky acts become a natural outgrowth in these situations.