From Domina to Submissive


Clearly, a lot of things going into the role discovery of a person. Traditionally women have been cast in a very submissive role and tend to emerge in that role even in very socially modern societies.



History sadly chronicles few subordinate women who served with distinction but without the accolades during their lives:

  • Florence Nightengale,

  • Laura Secord,

  • Marie Antonette,

  • Justine LeClerque,

  • and others


The strong woman was always an object of fear and contempt which sometimes result in the "glass ceiling" concept; which is reinforced by men to retain some semblance of gender authority.  No powerful women ever gave up power  and retained control until the end of their tenures remaining dominant forces of their times:

  • Catherine the Great of Russia (now there was a kinky monarch... but a story for another time);

  • Jean d’Arc of France,

  • Elizabeth, First Queen of England,

  • Victoria Empress of Britain,

  • Indira Gandhi,

  • Margarete Thatcher,

  • Angela Merkel, and

  • this list goes on...


This cast defining roles for both strong and in other cases very subordinate women.


Changing Times

One of the parallels event though is that very young women (teenagers actually) pronounce their dominance trying to emulate these figures. The emergence of gender equality many take the sexual queues from the strong role models of idolized dominance and merge it with the literary porn or whimsical lurid romance novels to formulate a role they believe they can fulfill.


Changing the Mind-Set

The fear of losing control is commonly the fact that terrifies these idealists into the uneasy position of being dominant. Numerous domtrix over the past revealed they:

  •  Wanted to experience the pain and humiliation of submissive because receiving was always more satisfying than providing.

  • Preferred the strong hand of others or loss of control in a safe and sane relationship.

  • Were curious of how the submissive individuals within this existence experienced their kink.

  • Want thinks they could not experience as a dominant.

  • Simply thought the effort and emotional expenditure to dominate others was so burdensome that submission was easier. 



While it was never an easy transition, it was one where they discovered their true natures. Sometimes this nature end with switching.



The majority discovered they needed both, and could define their relationships on a per person basis as either domme or sub.  Switching gave them the opportunity to experience the pain, suffering, humiliation, and loss of control in a very specific set of circumstances. Alternating this as the dominators, the sadist, one being satisfied and fulfilled by the abject obedience of others. The ability to change roles regularly continued over the years as a functioning part of their life but at a cost. The switch never finds permanence and needs to seek new partners only to fill the role of either submissive or dominant. Over time though this borders on a schizophrenic pattern as the switch compartmentalize their relationships. This schism causes partners to feel a lack of commitment and the partners drift to other relationships. Resolving itself as a switch decides to progress along one of the defined paths or they join a poly household where they finally submit to a dominating the house leader and while still dominating other subordinates.


A Return to Domination

The loss of control becomes terrifying and leave a feeling of vulnerability that switching cannot deal with so a few returns to a dominating role. They decide ultimately that the effort, and time to plan scenes, events, and specific activities; manage the idiosyncrasies and needs of (one or more) submissives and social aspects of training are justified in the ultimate pleasure. Domination provides sufficient release so that the individual control gives on the needs they have for submission.


Redirection into Submission

A few embrace the change with gusto to become slaves simply surrendering emotional, mentally and spiritually within their new role. I title this redirection as it is a change within the person and not a retreat as some would claim.  The new slave discovers that their needs easily fulfilled as a submissive and their care is assured. They then slip quietly into the experiences defined by agreement and consent while experiencing the fundamental activities allowed. The submissive gains a sense of control over broader aspect like the level or sexual (from none to full) activity, kink (variants on themes), commitment (casual to 24x7) and pain (from none to all-out bone breaking suffering).  The details then become the responsibility of their dominant to plan, facilitate, and manage within the confines of the broader terms of reference (or contract).


The Road to Self-Discovery

Nothing is perfect in this life, no person remains constant, and we all will change in degrees from what we were.  Many times these changes are merely other steps along the road of self-discovery. This lifestyle allows us to step along a path we choose not a road chosen by others. Sometimes we seek mentors or guides, sometimes we need to surrender a varying degree of control to others, and at other times, we need to leave our mark in history. Most notably we will change, sometimes reversing direction, sometimes charging ahead.  No one choice is correct, but in the end, we try to focus on what is right for ourselves.


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