Dark Castle - Sin 
BDSM Canada & Training

by Akero Nabri

     August 2012

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Any dominant (male or female) worth their salt knows dominance is a function of the mind with possible enhancements of a  physical level.  Without the ID, EGO, and Psyche, domination is nothing more than directed violence or abuse. Even sex by itself is an act of violence if neither intellect nor emotions are involved.  Knowing this and being able to institute the strong will, emotional and intellectual coding throughout a session is what separates the wannabes from the real and the real from the great dominants.

Pure domination is the orchestration of sensations relative to a combination of intellect, experience, emotional and psychological factors.  The physical side becomes merely a tool to realize and reinforce these elements.

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Domination in Action

It makes no difference if the target of domination knows this because they process the experiences without success. In fact, knowing only allows them to validate the sensations as they are happening as domination rather than abuse. Hence the most practiced dominants have no issues sharing the knowledge with the subjects of their power.

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Separating the specific aspects can sometimes appear problematic but actually shows the degree to which a given lever needs adjusting, thereby having the desired effect. Each individual is different, and so the force exerted on any given lever needs to be precise.

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The Levers.

Anticipation is one of the first factors needing establishment. This sets the expectations of the submissive and baselines what they will need to achieve fulfillment. Expectancy is purely an intellectual measure by the subject of "what they want out of the session." Funny, but so many fail simply by not meeting a minimum level of expectations. 

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The danger is a psychological response to situations. It is very immediate and lasts for mere seconds or minutes, causing the adrenaline rush associated with an e-ticket ride.   Passing as quickly as it arrives but leaving behind sensations and decreasingly the time needed to repeat the feeling... much like a roller coaster, needs lulls to purge the most recent experience and reset the mind. This is why the long uphill climbs or slow valleys between rush segments. Sadists (of which I am one) use this to keep the "edge" when physically tormenting a subject. And feeds into while reinforcing the anticipation of a masochist.

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Fear is then the properly managed fear that results in primal emotional queue resulting from danger, particularly if accompanied by impact play (the physical act) and the intellectual uncertainty of what is next relative to act, force and timing.

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Nervousness is a purely reactive measure based on the flight of fight conflict from fear leading up to any meeting or event. It is highlighted by the fear generated and coupled to form an overwhelming; possibly, debilitating result. Managing this properly negates instinct, thereby eliminating responses and leaves a sense of surrender as the most natural path in the submissive.

Balance or the removal of it create s accomplished simply by pushing the boundaries or limits by having the submissive do something out of their comfort zone and unexpected suddenly.  This adds to the mystery and confusion, ensuring the maximum of stimuli, which causes the brain to generate endorphins and activate neural receptors sensitive to the experiences undertaken.

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De-intellectualization produces a temporary condition called "subspace," an almost trance-like where everyday decision-making eludes the submissive and only pure animal responsiveness remains. Effectively put a slave in a state of heat or intense emotional state where pain becomes sexual.

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Shock tends to break a submissive out of the state, returning them to an aware individual.  These occur with the sudden slap, twist of engorged nipples or clit,  or grasping her by the throat unless the subject is so profoundly into the "subspace"  that it prolongs the sensation. Events that are unanticipated instantly heightening the state of arousal. 

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Orchestrating Effect

Great dominants are like the top orchestra conductors who can easily weave all of these "notes" from various sources into a sense of heightened arousal techniques. Effectively they convert any Domination scenario into a mindfuck situation, which leads to the submissive experiencing the most intense experiences and orgasms.

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A Scenario

Preliminary

Illustrating this and applying it, we will proceed through the first rendezvous with a potential submissive.  The individual meeting the dominant is nervous and concerned by many factors. Are they indeed making the right choice in a meeting, in the right place at the right time; should they leave? Will the dominant like them on first look? Will the dominant treat them as an object or a person. Will, there be solely a vanilla exchange that will define how things progress or will ultimately the submissive merely surrender to their baser urges and submit at an ensuring moment during the meeting. 

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The lead-up to the first engagement always triggers anticipation, nervousness, and fear. Each almost to the level of a mental state equivalent to those leading to foreplay. “Something will happen, but what?” This heightens the awareness, increases the adrenaline and sets the mind on edge. There are schools of thought as to deny the submissive permission to pleasure herself in any way for many days in advance of the meeting event. Or having them routinely associate sessions to sex with the dominant even though conversations or message exchanges have triggered all. Both generally assure that the submissive is embroiled in mental anticipation and sexual arousal upon meeting. Emotionally, all the levers are set to neutral but very quickly activated. 

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Part of the anticipation comes from the dominant setting conditions for the meet meeting already exerting control. They will have set the terms for the place to meet, usually a semi-public “safe” area but has some privacy level. The dominant will also let the submissive pick a time to make them far more comfortable about the meeting, allowing them to have the “false belief” that they have a modicum of control. The demand to dress a certain way, appear in a particular fashion, negate the authority and rests in the back of the submissive’s mind as a counter to their choice of place and time.

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The intent is to establish the right settings of the levers, so the submissive is mentally tuned for accepting domination long before it actually physically happens. Aroused and nervous, it becomes almost sexual in nature and will be clearly visible as the submissive fidgets or babbles. Both defence mechanisms, coupled with the need to release pent-up energy. Here is the first place the dominant truly begins to exert control. They give the submissive the instructions to stop the outward energy release. This causes a build-up of it. They then issue the submissive the simple task of “getting the refreshments,” dictating what both will have.  This is also a test of the submissive’s obedience and ability to comply with instructions.

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The next step is to discuss general experiences, life and the personal background of the submissive. This brief (10-15 minute) respite is the slow chug up the roller coaster's hill. The submissive is expecting something but unsure of what. The lull resurges the anticipation, but this time fear is replaced with curiosity.

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Unbalancing the Submissive 

Their excitement level grows again, and the fidgeting or babbling will slowly start again once it has reached the point before it is time to shock the subject. This is the first instruction given, which is out of their comfort zone. Hand the submissive a paper bag, and have the submissive go to the bathroom and remove their panties, fold it and place it in the bag and return.  This act in public is considered naughty, blatant sexual behaviour and contradictory to the “Good Girl” upbringing most women experience growing up. The request immediately pushes many of the taboo buttons for a heightened submission as well as a sexual response.

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If there is a lengthy discussion, challenges or even shaking of heads, clearly the dominance has not reached a point of total submission.

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The fear and concern are because of social norms and the preconditioning of a person to the acceptable standards of polite society. BDSM is not based on polite society’s rules. Understanding this is the first hurdle to overcome; this is where art, determination and the communication skills of the dominant must come into play.  It should never be an argument, merely an expression of fact and the tuning of conversation to the factors gleaned from the previous interactions with the submissive.

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A continued failure to comply means the cause is lost (for the moment); the dominant should gracefully stand, excuse themselves, say goodbye and leave. This removes any belief that the dominant is desperate from the mind of the submissive and shreds any hope they have control over a situation.

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Even if the submissive apologizes and offers to comply, they subsequently refuse. Tell them you will set the time and place for the next meeting to rethink the value and commitment either has to the journey.

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Suppose there is compliance even with a short exchange. Upon returning the subject, open the bag, look but do not expose the contents, and see if they genuinely folded the item or just threw it in the bag.

 

A folded article heralds the first successful domination of the submissive. Fold the bag over, then place it on the corner of the table and rest your hand on it.

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A crumpled item thrust into the bag still demonstrates they are resisting and challenging the authority. Here again, comment and state they did not comply fully. Ask them, do they “really wish to comply by folding the item properly.” This is a cardinal challenge to them, and their reactions will tell how well the wedge into their defence mechanism has worked.

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Suppose they say yes (and most will) dump the contents in their lap and leave the bag in front of them on the table. Again you are shattering social norms and can embarrass the individual. IF they fold it on their lap and place it in the bag handing it back to you, control is established; if they go back to the bathroom, item concealed, they are still obeying society’s rules.

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Regardless long before ever physically touching the submissive, you will have either achieved the goals of domination or know that the subject requires a massive effort to either break. It is then up to the dominant to determine if it is worth the effort or if the availability of other submissives is such as time to move to the next candidate.

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Realization

How it proceeds from there is very much according to the standards of the dominant. If their goal is to control for the longer term, then they need to manage their impulses and arrange the following session with a clear understanding that is to explore the more intimate nature of the relationship. Lay it out that the expectations for various acts.

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If the goal is to make this physical, then progress safely to the next stage. Be prepared in advance for a venue nearby where consummating the other aspects of BDSM. A hotel, a fetish club with private rooms or a nearby private dwelling (the dominant’s preferably). Again choosing the submissive’s place gives over part control to them.

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If the session is expected to continue, think boy scout – “Be Prepared.”  The dominant must have a limited set of bondage and fetish implements and undisclosed to the submissive until the point of ingress to the venue. Upon entering the private setting, exerting all manner of control. I won't go into the details of how to conduct a session; the dominant will determine what is appropriate and how to do their own activities given the interests and limits established with the submissive.

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When Sex is a Reality

Dominants almost always maintain the same rule during sexual activities…  Submissives MUST ask permission before cumming or risk severe punishment. It is also expected that a dominant will manage the submissive’s orgasms. The build-up within the subject’s genitals, body, and emotional state reaches avalanche proportions.  This heightens the mental state, increases the need and makes the denial even more powerful than the actual orgasm. The result was finally allowed the intensity of the orgasm that the body literally aches.  

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Edging (covered in another article here) is a well-constructed process to always keep the subject on point just before release. The submissive will ask, then demand, and finally, beg for the release. Denying the requests to cum a few times in a row always brings the subject to the brink. Waiting until the desperation is clearly pronounced in their voice and the appropriate, respectful begging occurs, then break the rhythm. Slapping the clit, pinching the nipples will have one of two effects; they will either crash from the unexpected and reach a “lull” or valley in the roller coaster ride or burst into a massive orgasm. This sudden intense pain is wholly unforeseen and will instantly cause the subject to lose full control over their body.

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It is at this point that it is entirely essential to repeat the process immediately. The crashing and the immediate arousal from repetitive initiation will cause the rush of lead-ups to further orgasms. Due to the immense amount of arousal and sexual tension that has been built up over several days and throughout lunch, the need for orgasm should be epic and mind-blowing.  Paying attention intently for signs of approaching the verge of again losing control of their body through observation, Iand their plaintive begging always triggers the heightened pinnacle of arousals and orgasms.  As the subject is allowed to cum, don’t stop stimulating them – forcing a continuous cycle of orgasm after orgasm, a good goal is a minimum of 5 times in succession, but more is better. This results in a stable connection relating the dominant to sexual fulfillment. It further links their service to the domination realized to their enjoyment of the sessions. Mentally, they will be unable to disassociate these aspects, turning the subject into a submissive sex toy. The powerful sexual experience will permanently release the “eager inner vixen” within the submissive and intensify the bonding.

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After that, every touch during the same session, a virtual explosion of sexual energy is indistinguishable from the best foreplay.

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