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Orgasm Denial as Domination Tool

Orgasm Denial and Edging

There is a factor to dominance which helps control the sexual nature of this lifestyle; it is called Orgasm Denial. Effectively too many people make the lifestyle solely about sex, rough or otherwise. Yet the focus on sex makes it hard for many of the other activities to become prevalent. Hence the control of one’s addiction to sex is a masterful way of controlling submissive and moving them to a broader lifestyle adoption. Denial of orgasmic release for periods of days, weeks, or longer not only makes the slave crave orgasms when allowed but changes the focus away from their sexual gratification and towards the rest of the experiences in the lifestyle.  This paper will discuss the pure nature of orgasm denial and how it can be mastered.

There is a big difference from not achieving orgasm either due to poor performance on another’s part, mental or emotional confusion and distraction, or the lack of sex and that of denial. Denial is the forced external removal of the right to experience the orgasm.  It gives the control of that happening over to a dominant who sets the tone and pace. So, the dominant denies orgasm during stimulation of the slave merely because of the slave’s need and desire for it. A powerful and ominous statement of control over anyone. Orgasm denial is ineffective unless it is coupled with sexual stimulation, whether mental or physical. The dominant must stimulate the slave intensely but not allow the release of an orgasm unless the dominant wills it. This control typical over extended periods will heighten the sexual urges but also the submissive nature of the slave and allow for increased mental stimulation to occur. It also makes the object more pliable to forms of bondage, and impact play which provides a sense of physical stimulation akin to sex. Hence beatings become stimulation even sexual as the slave ‘s mind substitutes the pain for sexual stimulation. This process keeps the denied person aroused and needing more. The occasional release of having an orgasm then becomes an almost spiritual fulfillment activity and truly appreciated as a gift. Where the person who masturbates all the time and comes 4-7 times a day becomes blasé about orgasms and starts to expect them and at times demands them.

 

Lifestyle versus Sexual Denial

There is a marked difference between lifestyle and solely sexually instituted denial. In a purely sexual connotation, the control of duration is that of the person being denied. This is usually a self-controlled situation such as with masturbation rather than externally compelled. The sexually oriented only focus on the subsequent orgasm and denial is broken when the denied person has an orgasm. Sexually oriented denial rarely has a long-term (over a week) of orgasm denial, and typically make themselves orgasm regardless of restriction, as it is merely a game. Gamers rarely who go longer than a few days without having adverse effects (loss of concentration, fatigue, loss of sleep, negative thoughts) from denial.

Whereas in the lifestyle setting the control is solely that of the dominant. This difference is where the demarcation lines exist between those who play and those who live the lifestyle. Within the lifestyle setting the individual is kept aroused as a form of motivation and control, while expanding their options and experiences; with orgasm being considered a treat not an end of denial. The true dominants may give an “orgasm date” to allow the slave to focus on what is needed to be accomplished to get their reward. Control and anticipation are realized by reminding the denied slave the number of days until their release should they not spoil it through disobedience.  While the slave must accept this date is effortlessly moved without discussion by the dominant or as a punishment or reward based on the slave’s performance in other areas. Those active in the lifestyle have other items to focus on therefore can sustain denial for much more extended periods even months if need be.

Edging the Tool in Denial

Why this process is called edging is bringing an individual to the edge of an orgasm and stopping. It requires being intensely aware of the signs when an individual goes from pleasure to the point of the rushing throws and convulsions of an orgasm and being able to stop the process. Within the lifestyle, edging has become the tool for manifesting and controlling denial of orgasms. Effective the act of bringing an individual to the edge of experiencing an orgasm and then halting all stimulation. .To be genuinely useful the effect requires edging multiple times with a break and even change of activities between each edge. This allows the body to relax and mind to focus on other activities. The dominant though controls the flow and at seeming random points starts edging again. This lack of control by the slave to allow the body to calm down before bringing it back up to the next edge. The amount of time should vary to keep the individual in the sense of being out of control of their own body. Experience has shown that a minimum of three edging a day is required to establish control and have the slave focused on their next potential orgasm.

It is possible to continuously edge if the dominant has limited control and does not break the rhythm by allowing an unwarranted orgasm. This is very hard, but useful if the dominant wants to be able to train a slave to orgasm on command. Effectively edging for one to three hours straight and then giving the instruction to orgasm as you realize the subject is going to do so anyways plans the seed in the mind of a command control when they are at their mentally less focused. Repeating without cumming and without lessening the arousal/edge and repeating commands reinforces the command impetus. Eventually while stimulating give the command prematurely; if the subject does respond with an orgasm then continue the process strengthening the command cycle. Finally, a mere touch and verbal command will make the slave uncontrollable orgasm. And proven control is achieved. This is an aberration of the Stockholm syndrome which has repeatedly proven to work.

Where to Edge

Where to edge has always been a debate. Can it occur only in a private (home/dungeon) setting or can it happen in public? Again this is a crucial difference between those who play and those who live the lifestyle. There should be no place where this cannot occur in a lifestyle setting. A public location adds the aspects of total control (TPE) and public humiliation to the experience of the slave as well as focuses their mind that the dominant is 100% in control. A cinema, bar, coffee shop, restaurant, even shopping venue are all appropriate locations for true lifestyles. The slave stimulated by the dominant of forced to stimulate themselves is a very humiliating act. The risk of exposure and “being caught” actually heightens the sexual tension and shortens the time to orgasm, so dominants need to be mindful. This allows for extending the control fully into the real world.

Even in a private setting, the location of where a slave is forced to edge can be a bed, couch, chair, shower or even on the floor in front of the tv while their dominant watches. Edging should occur in differing postures as well; including standing sitting, and laying. But edging must always be in the presence of or conducted by the dominant. Effectively denying the slave from masturbating outside the presence of their master.

Difference between Denial and Ruined Orgasms

A ruined orgasm is merely the failure to achieve an orgasm regardless of the activity or as a result of a partner’s premature orgasm and failure to consider their partner. It is a fact of everyday life and more prevalent in vanilla or sexual only activities. Orgasm denial has an accompanying period of greater pent-up arousal while a ruined orgasm usually only have an unspent energy rush and sense of dissatisfaction. The lack of concern or interest in a partner achieving orgasm is a small form of narcissistic behaviour.  The effect is a total feeling of being unfulfilled and dissatisfied with the whole experience and make partners reluctant to re-engage in other sexual acts.

 

This has no part in the lifestyle.  The ruined orgasm differs from denial because it is not planned or part of a long-term strategy. The dominant genuine is concerned about their slave's fulfillment but achieving it is a balance with the control needed to exert and the other needs of the submissive mindset. Slaves will experience a heightened state of awareness after denial with accompanying sensitivity in many areas of the body. Denial leaves the slave more desperate for, achieving orgasm but equally desiring to perform the ingredient of satisfying the dominant to allow them the release of orgasms. After a time it naturally would not occur to true slaves never even consider abandoning the instructions of their dominants and seeking self-gratification.

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