Dark Castle - Sin 
BDSM Canada & Training

by Aramock Nanuck

     June 2002

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Control

Begin with Oneself

Being a Dominant takes time and patience, and they must assert control of themselves before taking control of a situation, scene or another individual.  The Dominant needs to focus on achieving the goals of the parties involved if they expect a continuing relationship. 

 

A dominant must never engage in discipline or S&M activities when angry or in the heat of passion. Passion and anger tend to be stimulants that result in caution going out the window. We lose sight of the individual we are with, and the flames of our emotions propel us to extremes that may be inappropriate. This is particularly important when pursuing extreme sessions, as control must be absolute in this context. Overstepping a safe or sane level of risk will put a limb at risk and could put lives in harm's way.

 

Remember, BDSM should NOT be Abuse

Most importantly, assert dominance without being a bully. Limits are established upfront; individuals' tolerances may be pushed and tested, but it is critical that "too much" remains "too much."  Safewords have to be respected if a suitable edgy scene is undertaken. Safewords should never be needed for disciplinary procedures.  This is why non-physical discipline (dealt with separately) is actually the preferred punishment form for many dominants, as opposed to the application of pain.

 

A Recipient Is...

They are the ones who RECEIVE the physical impacts or results of the actions used to discipline. The recipient may be a miscreant (one deserving punishment), or a supplicant (casual player), or a serious masochist, or even an extremist... degrees of which are left to the imagination.  In all cases, the administration of paint applied is directly proportional to the person's nature, the activity being undertaken, and the situation occurring. Remember that many of the characteristics defining a recipient often result in a greater need than a desire to be punished in this lifestyle. 

 

Ultimately, the Dominant sets the rhythm and tone of the event, yet the Dominant is expected to explore the nature and needs of the recipient. True submission wins out every time over sexual desire in all cases with real dominant spirits. It is like a pheromone. The reverse is true for real submissives, almost like bees to pollen.

 

Preparation

The Dominant must prepare; this will be a challenge for the Dominant and is expected to rise to the occasion. Failure will not occur because the Dominant will lose the recipient if they do. The Dominant must physically manifest their will and spirit, and totally without any sexual intent. Ensure the Dominant meditates on this before the session, as the mind must be completely clear and focused on the objective.

 

Social Conditioning

There is an abundance of social pressure NOT to hurt another; in most cultures, the inflicting of pain on another is viewed not only as something wrong but for the religious a truly "sinful" act. The Dominant must find a way to compartmentalize this or remove the inherent reluctance from their mind.  Vanilla standards or morals may interfere with the objectives and cause the recipient to become dissatisfied with the Dominant's commitment.  Therefore, if reluctant to "go to the limit," do not begin or, at a minimum, ensure the recipient is aware of this in advance.

 

The First Session

Make sure it is a safe and sane situation where the recipient can have a mutually acceptable observer present or be alone if complete trust exists. Buy also a switch, a long bamboo pole to hold up plants about as thick as the Dominant’s little finger; the Dominant can get them at most garden centres. Some twine is coarse, but soft.

• The Dominant needs to be in total control; the Dominant’s word is final.

• If the recipient resists at any point, slap the recipient

• If others are present, glare at them ... do not let anyone challenge the Dominant’s authority.

• No one touches the recipient without the Dominant’s explicit instruction.

• Ensure you have discussed and shared the agenda item with the recipient in advance, if it is on the agenda.

 

Now the session.

Please place it in front of the recipient before anyone else is present. Ensure they are keenly aware of being observed or monitored. The act of being disciplined in front of others adds a humiliation factor to the event. The effect can be even more surreal if the recipient knows they are being watched.   

 

Never verbalize, but let the Dominant’s actions demonstrate the utter sovereignty. From this point onwards, the Dominant ceases to hold authority over the recipient. Remember, the dynamic will change if the dominant and the recipient are friends. The recipient or dominant will often avoid crossing certain lines, even if one or the other wants to experience more as well. 

 

Stalling or Halting the Action

From then on, NO is an unacceptable answer to the Dominant from the recipient.  Pleading and tears are not an indication to change the course of action. Set in advance a clear safe-word or actions which indicate the following (with examples):

• STOP ALL ACTIVITIES   .............   "Ocean" or if gagged - stamping one's foot 3 times.

• SLOW THE ACTION DOWN .......   "Gulf" or if gagged  - waving an open hand 3 times.

• MORE INTENSITY PLEASE .......  "Green Light" or if gagged - nodding head 3 times.

 

Playful Control

If the recipient resists or confronts the Dominant, the Dominant should slap the recipient's cheek hard enough to sting but not enough to leave a mark. Tell the recipient to watch the recipient’s mouth.

 

Sampling the Atmosphere

Insist on the recipient:

• Undresses in front of the audience, facing the major attendees or the Dominant.

• Folds their clothes neatly and lays them in a specific place, within sight but out of reach.

• Assumes the nadu position in the centre of a room with nothing nearby.

 

If there is any resistance, explain to the recipient that clothes can cause bunching that changes the strike, which could cut the skin. Make it clear that the Dominant wants to avoid unnecessary deeper injuries.

 

Select the object first to be used in front of the recipient. Flex the item to be used.  Examine it, make impact motions in the air, building up the anticipation of the impending impact.  If you are preparing a switch, then slowly let the recipient savour the effect and fear... until it becomes palatable.

• Cut it to 36”,

• Wrap the base (6”) with the twine closely, three layers thick.

• Then flick it in front of everyone; this is as much to get everyone’s reaction as for the Dominant to get used to the weight. 

• Have the recipient take the position of the slaver's kiss. 

• Move behind the recipient, out of their line of vision. 

• Flick the switch two or three times in the air.

• They apply the first strike across both buttocks as flat as possible, but very softly.

• Aim high and on the thickest, fleshy part of the butt.

• Follow this for a few seconds, counting to 3 or 5, with slightly increasing intensity.

• Continue until the impact leaves a slight red mark on the butt cheeks.

• Always make sure the slap is flat to the body.

• Position the foot so that it is flat on the ground, with the sole facing upwards towards the ceiling.

• Strike the soles of the feet with the same intensity as the butt strikes.

 

Change Up

Repetition may be beneficial for exercise or as a form of punishment, but exploring the arts of Sadism, variety, and uncertainty creates a more complete and fulfilling experience.

• Have the recipient now change the recipient's pose to an inspection stance.

• After this, move behind the recipient and spread their feet apart. This is so humiliating to the recipient, the sensation of being mere meat to punish, and this objectification starts to heighten the experience.

• Have the recipient assume a supplication position.

• Have the recipient kiss the Dominant’s feet and thank the Dominant for the session.

 

Anticipation

The biggest factor in making the session an experience rather than a torment is to create a mindset within the maso where they are somewhat surprised by the experience. Accomplishing surprise means:

• Always wait for slightly varying times between blows; therefore, the recipient feels the effect and the uncertainty of the impending strike registers in the recipient's mind. 

• Ensure that the other recipients are aware and share the wonder as they experience it.

  • What will it be like?

  • What is the next blow?

  • Should they expect it to be strong or weak?

  • Will it leave a mark?

• Leave three or four welt marks.

 

Increasing Intensity

From there on, you can ratchet this up in the future, mixing bondage with punishment. After about 4-5 sessions, the recipient will submit a complete thank-you after each session.

 

Introducing new Tormentors

Only after the Dominant has focused entirely on the recipient and completed a session can they offer to let someone else take control of the recipient.  This change makes clear the dominance over the recipient and their status as an object. Expect the observers, if present, to cringe or resist. Unquestionably, many will NOT want to demonstrate their actions in front of others present. Refusal to step forward relegates these voyeurs as “wannabes” in the recipient’s eyes and the eyes of any others present.