Orgasm Denial as Domination Tool

Orgasm Denial-A Tool toDominate

by Aramock Nanuck

November 2011

Orgasm Denial and Edging

There is a factor to dominance that helps control the sexual nature of this lifestyle; it is called Orgasm Denial. Effectively, too many people make the lifestyle solely about sex, rough or otherwise. Yet, the focus on sex makes it hard for many of the other activities to become prevalent. Hence, controlling one's addiction to sex is a masterful way of controlling submission and moving them to a broader lifestyle adoption. Denial of orgasmic release for periods of days, weeks, or longer makes the slave crave orgasms when allowed. Still, it changes the focus away from their sexual gratification and the rest of the experiences in the lifestyle. This paper will discuss the pure nature of orgasm denial and how to master it.

There is a big difference between not achieving orgasm, either due to poor performance on another's part, mental or emotional confusion and distraction, or the lack of sex and that of denial. Denial is the forced external removal of the right to experience the orgasm. It gives them control of that happening over to a dominant who sets the tone and pace. A dominant denies orgasm during stimulation of the slave merely because of the slave's need and desire for it—a powerful and ominous statement of control over anyone. Orgasm denial is ineffective unless coupled with sexual stimulation, whether mental or physical. The dominant must stimulate the slave intensely but not allow the release of an orgasm unless the dominant wills it. This control typically over extended periods will heighten the sexual urges and the submissive nature of the slave and allow for increased mental stimulation to occur. It also makes the object more pliable to forms of bondage and impact play, providing a sense of physical stimulation akin to sex. Hence, beatings become stimulation, even sexual, as the slave's mind substitutes the pain for sexual stimulation. This process keeps the denied person aroused and needing more. The occasional release of having an orgasm then becomes an almost spiritual fulfillment activity and is truly appreciated as a gift. The person who masturbates all the time and comes 4-7 times a day becomes blasé about orgasms and starts to expect them and, at times, demands them.

Lifestyle versus Sexual Denial

There is a marked difference between lifestyle and solely sexually instituted denial. In a purely sexual connotation, the control of the duration of the denial. A self-controlled situation, such as with masturbation, rather than an externally compelled one. The sexually oriented only focus on the subsequent orgasm, and denial breaks when the denied person has an orgasm. Sexually oriented denial rarely has a long-term (over a week) of orgasm denial and typically leads to orgasm regardless of restriction, as it is merely a game. Gamers seldom go longer than a few days without adverse effects (loss of concentration, fatigue, loss of sleep, negative thoughts) from denial.

In the lifestyle setting, control is solely that of the dominant. This difference is where the demarcation lines exist between those who play and those who live the lifestyle. Within the lifestyle setting, keeping the individual aroused as a form of motivation and control while expanding their options and experiences, with orgasm considered a reward, not an end of denial. The true dominants may give an "orgasm date" to allow the slave to focus on what needs to be accomplished to get their reward. Control and anticipation remind the denied slave of the number of days until their release, should they not spoil it through disobedience. While the slave must accept this date, it is effortlessly moved without discussion by the dominant, or as a punishment or reward based on the slave's performance in other areas. Those actively engaged in the lifestyle have different items to focus on; therefore, they can sustain denial for much longer periods, even months, if necessary.

Edging the Tool in Denial

Bringing an individual to the edge of an orgasm and stopping, hence the term edging. It requires being intensely aware of the signs when an individual goes from pleasure to the point of the rushing throes and convulsions of orgasm, and stopping the process. Within the lifestyle, edging has become a tool for manifesting and controlling the denial of orgasms. Effective the act of bringing an individual to the edge of experiencing an orgasm and then halting all stimulation. .To be genuinely valuable, the effect requires edging multiple times with a break and even a change of activities between each edge. This allows the body to relax and the mind to focus on other activities. The dominant thought controls the flow and, at seemingly random points, starts edging again. This lack of control by the slave allows the body to calm down before bringing it back up to the next edge. The amount of time should vary to keep the individual in a state of being out of control of their own body. Experience has shown that a minimum of three edgings a day is required to establish power and have the slave focused on their next potential orgasm.

It is possible to edge if the dominant has limited control and does not break the rhythm by allowing an unwarranted orgasm continuously. This is very hard, but useful if the dominant wants to train a slave to orgasm on command. Effectively edging for one to three hours straight and then instructing to orgasm as you realize the subject will do so anyway, plants the seed in the mind of a command control when they are at their mentally less focused. Repeating without cumming and without lessening the arousal/edge and repeating commands reinforces the command impetus. Eventually, while stimulating, give the command prematurely; if the subject does respond with an orgasm, continue the process, strengthening the command cycle. Finally, a mere touch and verbal command will make the slave uncontrollably orgasm. And proven control is achieved. This is an aberration of the Stockholm syndrome, which has repeatedly proven to work.

Where to Edge

Where to edge has always been a debate. Can it occur only in a private (home/dungeon) setting, or can it happen in public? Again, this is a crucial difference between those who play and those who live the lifestyle. There should be no place where this cannot occur in a lifestyle setting. A public location adds the aspects of total control (TPE) and public humiliation to the slave's experience and focuses their mind that the dominant is 100% in control. A cinema, bar, coffee shop, restaurant, and even a shopping venue are all appropriate locations for authentic lifestyles. The slave stimulated by the dominant or forced to promote themselves is a very humiliating act. The risk of exposure and "being caught" actually heightens the sexual tension and shortens the time to orgasm, so dominants need to be mindful. This extends the control fully into the real world.

Even in a private setting, the location where a slave is forced to edge can be anywhere:

a bed,
couch,
chair, shower, or
even on the floor in front of the TV while their dominant one watches.

Edging should also occur in various postures, including standing, sitting, and lying. But edging must always be in the presence of or conducted by the dominant. Effectively denying the slave from masturbating outside the presence of their master.

Difference between Denial and Ruined Orgasms

A ruined orgasm is the failure to achieve orgasm regardless of the activity. Even the partner's premature orgasm is a failure to consider their partner. It is a fact of everyday life and is more prevalent in vanilla or sexual-only activities. Orgasm denial has an accompanying period of greater pent-up arousal, while a ruined orgasm usually only has an unspent energy rush and sense of dissatisfaction. The lack of concern or interest in a partner achieving orgasm is a diminutive form of narcissistic behaviour. The effect is a natural feeling of being unfulfilled and dissatisfied with the whole experience, making partners reluctant to re-engage in other sexual acts.

The ruined orgasm differs from denial because it is not part of the strategy. The dominant is concerned about the slave's fulfillment, but achieving it is a balance with the control needed to exert and the other needs of the submissive mindset. Slaves will experience a heightened state of awareness after denial, with accompanying sensitivity in many areas of the body. Denial leaves the slave more desperate for achieving orgasm but equally desiring to perform the act of satisfying the dominant to allow them the release of orgasms. After a time, it naturally would not occur to faithful slaves to never even consider abandoning the instructions of their dominants and seeking self-gratification.