Dark Castle - Sin 
BDSM Canada & Training

by Aramock Nanuck

     November 1993

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Bondage and Discipline

B/D occurs in all forms of lifestyle activity. The experience difference basis is on:

• the degree of involvement

• the duration prolonged

• and the intensity 

 

Sados and Masos

Some individuals are merely into pain, the giving or receiving of it. Some individuals love this, others tolerate it even more, though others want little or nothing to do with these activities.  The individuals involved range from playing games to the very mild (cuffs and spankings), all the way up to the very severe, including irons and needles or cutting. Some are involved in just a specific experience, while others are making a serious lifestyle commitment. I fall into the latter group.

 

It Begins with a Relationship

It is the understanding and development of a relationship between submissive and dominant people that is the basis of most activities present.  Vanilla relationships are the same, and trust plays a major role in all human relationships, but in this lifestyle, Trust is Paramount.  The "slave" voluntarily and consensually gives up their free will to another, the "Master," to create a stable, safe and worry-free existence. This process takes time and requires establishing trust to come up with an appropriate and working contract. Many contracts are for a specific term, while others are open-ended, and some have specific exit clauses.

 

Knowing the Supplicant's Motivation

Many times, slaves come from threatening existences and want the protection of their masters.

• Classic are those who wish to escape extreme poverty, war or other equally terrifying situations.

• Others (in the minority) are comfortable and safe in their day-to-day lives but are stressed in their burdensome professional lives and seek the refuge of being free of making decisions in their private lives.

• Others wish to further their education or have experiences that would not be possible in their normal lives.

 

Experience shows that the vast majority of slaves are actually driven from the latter.

 

Attitudes between Gaming and Living

Many people (mostly those playing games) view this as solely a sexual activity. Actually, to lifestyle aficionados, it is far more complex and overarching. There are frequent cases where the domination or control aspects are the most important, and sex is fundamentally only secondary.  The norm varies from one extreme to another.

 

Public and Private Life Delineation

There are usually very detailed and specific agreements that govern life in the "home." With slaves who have been or are professionals, there is a clear delineation of private and public lives.

 

Prenuptials on Steroids 

In a lifestyle situation, many factors come into play, down to appearance, communication, forms of address, and even the disposition of children. All cases have clear guidelines for sexual, disciplinary and domestic arrangements. Think of it as a prenuptial agreement on steroids. No two contracts are the same, but all usually start with the same tenant. My base contract is 40 pages long; I have had ones as short as five pages and as long as 80 pages. It is essential to have all agreements vetted by a lawyer and can be deemed enforceable. Many agreements should have specific appendices tuned to the items listed above, and I always start with a Generic form for each engagement.

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