Fetishes

By Aramock Nanuck

October 1986

There are differences between fetishes and role-playing (or, as more ardent enthusiast refers to it, scening). A fetish, based on a psychological definition, is something that itself may not be sexual, but just the thought of it elicits a physio-sexual reaction. Fetish effectively occurs outside of the physical individual and is a reaction to a sensory stimulus. Fetishes are those items that trigger a solid psychological, physiological, or sexual response. They form the basis for most human attractions (the magnets that pull individuals to one another. There are as many fetishes as people are practicing them. A fetish becomes the conversion of fantasy into reality or an adornment to facilitate the illusion. However, fantasies break down into the following common elements.

Common Groupings

So, taking attraction and making something more BDSM related to it would be to use fetishism in a scene. Role-playing and scenes are activities that you take part in that may or may not involve one or more of your fetishes. Therefore, the setting posed is

Adornment

The clothing and the environment of a setting.

The dominant person wearing a tailored suit,
The submissive was wearing a very plain shift, a stainless steel collar with a stainless steel leash attached and other accessories denoting slave status.
A public place,

Action

The events and situations in which one participates, sees, hears, and even imagines.

Kneeling,
Head Down,
Arms outstretched,
Palms Up with a crop or leash in their hands,

Head Space

The thoughts, emotions, and intellectual stimulants

A crowd of onlookers gathers,
A policeman in the group,
Captivating an audience by presenting them with a scene.

Participatory

The appearance or demeanour which individuals assume.

The dominant appears mildly disinterested, not focusing on the submissive, but something far off in the distance.
The submissive with well-styled hair, up off the neck, revealing the collar.
The submissive wears a subtle yet powerful floral perfume that wafts through the air, tickling the noses of the nearby audience.

Fetish Interactions

A situation can present fetishes that occur separately or simultaneously. The combination of these acts forms a scene that exudes power and sensuality. This activity would undoubtedly attract interest and inspire or "turn on" some of the audience. There would be picture takers. Equally, there would be those offended by the whole scene and may comment or act out their dissatisfaction.

Fetishes are NOT constrained to those in the BDSM lifestyle, effective any person will have a fetish trigger. Understanding that a fetishist is not always a practitioner of D/s alleviates a lot of the stress and concerns. Many of these individuals are not engaging in formal activities, but rather adopting an approach to human interactions that satisfies their desires and needs. Some individuals are merely "testing the water," and determining whether something they read or saw somewhere piques their curiosity is worth considering as an ongoing activity.

However, this is not fiscally good for the psychological or psychiatric professions, making a healthy living out of diagnosis these "afflictions" and then going about mistreating them as symptoms of something far darker. Some are naturally sexual; to others, the fetish is simply a biochemical response to an external stimulus.

Therefore, in our lifestyle, we are all understanding and supportive ("Your Kink is Not My Kink, but It's Okay"), which is a far more balanced approach to forming long-term, solid friendships.

The items listed below are a high-level grouping of similar objects rather than a specific checklist. Hence, there may be a few individuals who are not included on the list; if you would like them added, please get in touch with us, and we will include them in future versions. Many of you will be aware of the items, so there is no need to review them; a few of you may disagree with the interpretation added here. Again, if you disagree, then drop us a line and include a fair-minded comparison. For others, you may not be familiar with the meaning of a specific item or its application in a lifestyle; that is why we have included our assessment of each item.

There will be items that do not affect select individuals; likely, broad sets will not apply to everyone. If you are interested in any of the items below, you will indeed have your interpretations. The following list is to provide you with a general of the more common fetishes. More in-depth explanations are available on numerous websites; feel free to explore and enjoy. But here is the condensed assessment of each.

Common Fetishes

Accents

A fetish form where the participatory stimulation occurs from hearing a particular gender using a voice and tremble combination that is specific to a country or social group or subset thereof, i.e.:

A Scottish Brogue
A Southern Drawl,
Barbarian Slang, etc.

If you need details, it is time to come down off the mountain and meet some people other than your relatives.

Age Difference

A participatory fetish where a significant age difference becomes the basis for attraction. Alternative individuals pose a traditional "Parent-Child," "Teacher-Student," or any authority figure and an innocent role. The broader the age difference is, the more stylistic the activity becomes.

Anal

A participatory fetish where one participant's attraction is to another individual's bottom. It could be the shape or size, or even a trigger for fantasies of seeing the "asset" or the idealized image from the observer's perspective.

Anonymity

A headspace fetish attraction to strangers or the desire to possess someone whose identity is not known. The main feature of this fetish is the driver for Masquerade parties, masks, and Cosplay. The form remains a constant both within the "vanilla" community and is typically integrated into the lifestyle scenes.

Asphyxiation

An action fetish involving full or partial suffocation. Many things can create this effect, including hands, bags, cling film, water, belts, and ropes. Each type of approach must suit the desired situation, opportunity and result. The extent of this activity can become severe where simulating imagery such as hanging, crucifixions, and garroting, etc.

Effectively, this is the thrill of being dominated by a near-life-threatening activity. Sexually, it has been shown that oxygen deprivation can heighten the intensity of orgasms. In extreme cases, the goal is to render or be rendered unconscious; however, a strong warning is that such activities, mishandled, are potentially life-threatening. The adverse side effects can range from cardiac arrest to permanent brain damage.

Autoerotic asphyxiation is the riskiest in this form. Face-sitting is the least effective. "Don't worry if I can breathe; I want to smell and taste you."

Belly

A head-space fetish based on the visual stimulation, whether it is a ripped six-pack, a pregnant woman's belly, a man's paunch hanging over the belt, or belly button (Innies or outies).

Bikers and Bad-Boys

This headspace fetish attracts all manner of people and genders or preferences related to the image of a rough and somewhat dangerous individual who lives life on the edge and is a risk-taker. Effectively, it alludes to a ride into the unknown via an e-ticket.

Blindfolds

This adornment fetish is based on sensor deprivation, where the denial of one sense forces the other senses to compensate. This fetish is frequently combined with the anonymity fetish to increase the intensity of the scene. It is used in a sharing environment to remove the ability of the blindfolded person to make choices based on some visual trigger.

Body Adornment

A participatory fetish where body art comes in many forms provides visual, tactile or olfactory stimulation.

Piercings, to tattoos, {temporary or permanent}
The act of painting an individual as a part of a scene
The use of food items to adorn the body (i.e.
- honey dripping down the breasts of a supplicant,
- fruit /cream displayed on genitalia,
- or the person as a platter for a munch event, adorned with food to be sampled by the guests

These combine to form a visual trigger and a social trigger of "being naughty," which can be quite arousing.

Body Hair

An adornment fetish where arousal may occur from seeing or touching the hair. The enticement could be the shimmer, the colour, the style or the lack thereof. Often, hair on the head, but equally, things like a "hairy chest" or a "shaved pubic area" can be stimuli that range from one extreme to another.

Body Odour (Funk)

A head-space fetish where the smells of the odours emanating from the body can trigger a pheromone response. Sometimes it is the musky smell of genitalia or the scents arising from intense labour or sexual acts which trigger the reaction. Sometimes, the smell is accompanied by visible signs of the source, such as glistening sweat on the body or the shimmer of a body freshly washed with scented soap.

Body Parts

This participatory fetish is about the physical looks of an individual. The focus is on the shape, length, and definition of a body part. Almost always in a visible form, classic examples are:

Long shapely legs perched in high heels and shorts or a mini skirt that stresses the form and definition of the legs
Big and long feet that (usually women) allude to the comparison of other parts of the (male) anatomy (like the penis).
The broad hands with large palms indicate a powerful impact or grip.

Body Worship

This action fetish is typically confined to lifestyle practices where the supplicant provides services to a dominant, focused on the body. It could be as simple as the worshiper bathing, massaging or stroking the recipient's body. Frequently, it is without sexual context but is performed in a near-reverent state of awe, appreciation, adoration, etc. (i.e., Preparing a Warrior King for battle). A very personal act where individuals receive satisfaction from either giving or receiving.

Bondage

This participatory activity fetishizes watching and participating in, forming another sensory deprivation and control fetish. Restraints can vary from handcuffs, tight rope bondage, to the art forms of Japanese Shibaru of many varieties. Individuals can be bound upright, prone, bound to themselves, furniture, or specially designed restraining apparatus.

The control aspect comes from denying the bound individual the ability to move. Bondage exercises form the basis of the main trust-building activities within the lifestyle.

The sensory deprivation part comes in from tight bondage or using suspension rigs for protracted periods. The body becomes numb, and parts of it lose sensation; the release of the ropes causes a rush of blood to the extremities, exciting the nerves. The result ranges from a tingling sensation to a burning sensation.

Cat/Dog Training

An action fetish where training focuses on having people emulate pets. Contrary to general opinion, pet training tends to be an asexual act (most people do not consider sex with animals). Effectively, it is another denial fetish that focuses on discipline, structure, and control. It frequently is a prelude to sexual acts, but it frequently is not. The "pet" loses the sensation of humanity, the ability to walk upright, eat, and act like humans, and equally removes complex communication from the scenarios. "Puppies and Kitties NEVER talk," they may bark, whine, howl or meow, but never verbalize ideas with words. Pet training requires the establishment of some of the most creative forms of communication during the scene. From a dominant side, it is the epitome of the dehumanization of an individual.

Capitulation

This headspace fetish is commonly referred to in the lifestyle as TPE (Total Power Exchange), a form of ultimate surrender to another person. The power exchange can occur in the context of a Master-slave relationship or be part of a more custodial or conservatorship arrangement. An act where the individual wishes or can no longer make any significant decisions for themselves. Capitulation even extends to what is worn, eaten, activities, and interactions with others, in extreme cases.

Some individuals seek surrender as a way to experience something from the past; in other cases, it is because their past lives and decisions have had disastrous effects. It is both a trust exercise and a surrender exercise in these cases. The extreme of this is the complete surrender of mind, body, and soul, which is far less a desire than a need.

Clamps & Clips

An adornment fetish is a combination of wearing pain-yielding devices with the specific purpose of stimulating sensitive parts of the body. The application of devices that twist, contort, or apply pressure to nipples, clits, lips, labia, penis, etc., causing a level of pain from mild discomfort to mind dumbing is the essence of these items. CBT and chastity devices are merely extensions to this fetish. Often, in lifestyle scenes, they are combined with punishment, discipline, or weights to increase the level of discomfort. Applied devices frequently combine with bondage resulting in bruising from breast or cock/ball bindings.

Cuck-holding

An action fetish where the humiliation of a voyeur occurs with sexual acts by a significant other is not directly involved. Denying the cockhold involvement in activities while forced to watch as their partner is used sexually by another individual. The humiliation factor stems from the fact that the individual usually has a special connection (husband, boyfriend, or father) to the person being used. The demeaning nature of this is because the restricted party is deemed ineffectual in using or protecting their partner.

Collars

This adornment fetish began in the Middle Ages with softer forms such as chokers and necklaces to denote ritual ownership through the cameos or symbols on the clasps. The adornment of these items demonstrated specific attributes accorded to the wearer. Collars have clear slave connotations, but for subsets of the lifestyle (i.e., Gorean), the colour or material used in a scarf or neck binding has a significant meaning. The exposure of these items, notably a collar, elicits a discernible physical reaction in most members of society, from casual amusement, anger, to the more kink-related imaginings.

Confinement

This action fetish finds its basis in the deprivation, focusing on limiting the movement or liberties of a confined individual. The types of these are:

Recreation of cell/prison confinement,
Pet confinement, such as placing in dog cages,
Restriction to a crate or storage unit, with or without transportation, is such a condition.
House arrest, confinement to a physical boundary. This activity is prevalent when using shock collars with perimeter sensors that are locked.

Corsets

An adornment fetish relating to clothing. The goal is to define the body shape by trimming and shaping the waist, buttocks, or bust. Usually used to highlight a specific aspect of the physical body, like cleavage.

Diapers

This adornment fetish is a physical representation of infantilism, where an adult plays the role of a baby or young child and wears diapers to symbolize this manifestation.

Differences

This headspace fetish is about the attraction individuals have for partners who are contrast to themselves

age
body shape,
culture,
size,
skin tone,
race
religion.

The contrast with oneself can be an attraction, or taken to an extreme. The sensation of superiority or inferiority in dominating or submitting to someone significantly different gives a sense of power and empowerment. In more restrictive societies and families, it is also an act of rebellion to defy convention and mingle with "those people."

Dirty Talk

An action fetish with its roots in the use of language is considered vulgar or profane, during or distinct from sexual activities. The sexual context of this is a form of enticement used to direct or elicit a response. Outside sexual acts can either r be a form of humiliation and degradation in public or private or a verbal form of enticement and foreplay (i.e., begging to be fucked harder). These acts also include the loud sounds or "porn noises" people make to aggrandize the activity.

Evacuations

An action fetish is a form of personal violation of another individual. Again, this is another fetish that frequently occurs with bondage. The subject receives an enema to force the bowels' evacuation or stick something deep into an individual's mouth to force them to regurgitate.

Exhibitionism

The headspace fetish exposes a person or specific body parts in a public (or pseudo-public) setting. Classic examples of this are flashing or not wearing panties, bras, or revealing pubic hair or breasts. Sometimes this goes further, such as public nudity or can be coupled in events with demonstrations of servitude or discipline.

Fabrics

Driving the fetish is the adornment augmented by the visual awareness or the tactile sensations of wearing certain fabrics. When used to make clothing, many of these materials can stimulate the wearer's skin, causing it to become very sensitive. Some materials provide resilience (see messy games) or soft sensual experiences for bedding or coverings. Fabrics can hint at erotic interludes to come.

Rubber and latex provide this item as a form or restraining materials (see mummification)
The soft, shimmer, slipperiness of silks and satins creates an opposite reaction.
Fur has a soft, warm, almost snuggling feeling, similar to lying on a bear's skin rug or the feel of a fur coat.
Leather combines tactile, olfactory and visual experiences with the suggestion of domination.

Fingernails

Another adornment fetish is the application of painted, stylized, or patterned nails.

Gender Bending

A cross-over between head-space and action fetish, where gender transformation and control fetish, focusing on clothing, demeanour, and make-up, accentuates the visualization of the gender change. It can also be a forced change where the subject who is gender defined is restrained and forced to appear in an alternate gender role. In more exotic cases, it still exposes the original genitals in the context of an altered gender to trigger the humiliation aspect of this exposure.

Humiliation

Another cross-over fetish between head-space and action fetish, where situational abuse demeans the subject. Public nudity, rude comments written on exposed flesh, the "kick me" (or similar) posted on someone's back. Humiliation can occur in either a private or public setting and is often influenced by the size and diversity of the audience or potential audience. Taking this to the extreme is having a humiliation fetishist cleaning everyday objects like the soles of one foot, shoes, the floor, the body of another, or even in place of toilet paper. The one administering the humiliation usually gets a kick out of the control they garner and the shame they inflict on a person. Observers get voyeuristic pleasure and a sense of guilt for it being someone else and not themselves.

Hypnosis

This headspace fetish is very hard to facilitate and master. The fantasy is that the person can claim they would not do certain activities in an awake state, thereby absolving themselves of responsibility for their actions. A common misconception is that people will not do anything when hypnotized that they would not do awake. Additionally, authentic experience in hypnotizing people is challenging to master, and many individuals lack the tonal skills necessary to perform this task effectively. Skill and experience are factors that can make it hard to gain experience.

Lingerie

Another cross-over between adornment and head-space fetishes that can be

A visual stimulus from seeing someone in lingerie. Voyeurs will enjoy the visual imagery suggestion of sensual enticement it sparks.
The feel of wearing the fine silk and frilly objects that define femininity. Crossdressers, straight men, and women can all enjoy the sensations in a private setting.

Make-up

This adornment fetish is a form of body art that highlights the natural beauty of individuals or covers flaws in others in a subtle application. Stylized or specialty makeup (such as smoky eyes, candy lips, war paint, or overdone, heavy makeup) tends to accentuate a person's implied assets or increase the visual desirability of someone from a viewer's perspective. Taken to the extreme, where individuals have full-body painting resembling animals or other ornate objects.

Masturbation

An action fetish that some people seem to have to do more than others. Public, private, short periods, lengthy ones. Some people prefer the safe sex and comfort of themselves over that of others. The fetish for masturbation, the constant thought of the need to do it a certain number of times a day.

Messy Games

This action fetish finds the physical sensation of using oils, food, a few eggs to whip cream and chocolate syrup. It is very tactile, but it isn't easy to clean up. Bring along a drop cloth to contain the mess, use rubber sheets, and avoid significant cleaning efforts. Without a doubt, a best practice is to follow these activities with a nice shower. The extreme nature of this includes scat play, which tends to be only a lifestyle peculiarity.

Metal-Garb

This adornment fetish is tactile and erotic sensation-based. Wearing items of clothing made from chain mail or draping chains around the body conveys statements of power, strength, and control. Numerous individuals enjoy the heft and revealing nature of such items, especially when worn over a naked body. When combined with leather, it is a very pronounced statement of power.

Mind-Fucking

This action fetish essentially forms the beginning of mental bondage. A very demanding activity requiring effort forces the dominant to constantly look ahead of where the subject's thought process and emotions are at the moment, steering through words, actions, and images of the targeted individual, keeping them off balance. The activity continually thrusts the subject further into dependence on the dominant and results in increased submission. The more successful one becomes, the more the target craves the sensation due to constant mental and emotional stimulation, a rush akin to a mental rollercoaster.

Mummification

This adornment fetish is related to the constraining and obscuring of the subject. Wrapping the subject's body in fabrics that leave them stiff and hampered when moving is the basis of this fetish. A simple, clean cotton wrap, which is light and breathable, is the easiest to employ. In comparison, Saran Wrap of the entire body or coating a body in latex and rubber are all variations on the theme.

Nudity

This headspace fetish orients to both:

the observer who gets a voyeuristic pleasure, and
the nudist who gets the liberation, freedom of being naked, or
both for the humiliation aspects.

It functions from partial to full nudity in a public or private setting. The stimulus can be perceived as positive or negative, depending on the viewer's perspective and personal preferences. This fetish can include the wearing of semi-transparent fabrics, which reveal tantalizing views (i.e. a sheer blouse shows the areoles and nipples of a woman).

Objectification

This head-space fetish is essentially around the dehumanizing of an individual and humiliation related to whether an individual is used as an object of adornment (i.e., statues, etc.) or furniture (chairs, stools, tables) or merely the shunning of individuals, which makes them invisible.

Oral Gratification

This participatory fetish is related to a specific body part or activity, from a simple kiss, the sucking on fingers, toes, and the oral gratification of genitals, mainly as a particular form of body worship.

Piercing

An adornment fetish based on the joining of metal and flesh. A mark of ownership, perhaps, or a reclaiming of one's self. Decoration or a means to pierce the sexual anatomies, including tongues, nipples, genitals and belly buttons.

Pony Training

This action fetish is another form of animal or pet training where individuals fill the role of a pony/horse. The subject is adorned with manes, harnesses, and halters to emulate being a horse and frequently have anal plugs inserted to support tails. Decorating these people in leather with riding boots representing hoofs and for foot protection is one of the many practices of this fetish. Typically, the subject is connected to a sulky or a cart to pull others around, such as a "horse and buggy."

Rape Simulation

This action fetish is one more of domination than sexual circumstance, with its violation as a trigger. Under the right circumstances, sexual use by individuals a submissive trust (or possibly loves) can be a very enticing mental concept. The raw animal nature of taking what you want with little or no regard for the used subject has a compelling drive for the primal beast in many.

Sensory Trigger

Sense trigger combines the participatory and action fetishes in a less common form a touch stimulation via

cold (ice, water, chilled air, etc.),
cutting (scalpels, knives, etc.)
electricity (violet wands, TENS units, etc.),
heat (wax, fire, etc.),
prickling (pins, needles, etc.),
tickling (feathers, teaser, and simple fingers)

Shaving

This participatory fetish is about control and submission. The trust to let someone else shave you, particularly those sensitive or private areas, the sense of a loss of power, the risk of injury (all be it mildly from the person doing the shaving), as well as the feel of smooth skin afterward, is a common fetish. This one in the vanilla community is a solid precursor to sex.

Spanking

This action fetish can set people up for a precursor to other fetishes. It can accentuate the control another has on the spankee; when observed by non-participants, it adds a humiliation component and can form a type of foreplay. The act of watching someone being spanked or participating in the action is very visceral. Delivery from light spanking to a welt-raiser with either a cadence allows for the anticipation of the next blow. This fetish has many different variables and is as diverse as the people participating.

Stilettos

An adornment fetish with individuals wearing high, thin heels (even at 5" to 6") elicits a visual trigger. They shape the calf and make the wearer appear taller. Simply looking at these long heels can trigger all sorts of desires

to get on their knees to kiss and lick their shoes
"Get me a ladder. I am climbing that statue."
"Stand on me, let me feel the pain (see trampling)

Trampling

This action fetish focuses on stepping upon a submissive. It can be:

a simple Japanese massage where a small-footed woman walks the spin of an ample man,
the Domtrix pressing her stiletto into the groin of her boy toy,
the crush of a foot against the neck of a supplicant,

All of this focuses on a mix of control, pain, submission, and trust on the part of the recipient.

Uniforms

The adornment fetish of partners to wear military, police, medical, postal, fire or other uniforms can drive the sense of structure, control and, strangely, the sense of order and safety or terror in an individual. The result is an unexplained hormonal response. Even a well-tailored suit is a uniform of sorts and can get the blood churning in many a person.

Untouchables

A head-space fetish where people who excite you are those who should be unattainable by you. Many celebrities, such as rock or movie stars, radio personalities, or politicians, garner a level of interest due to their work. They have a following of groupies (i.e., Cumber-Bitches) that swoon in their presence. It could equally be those unaware of your existence which causes you to imagine "what if…":

the neighbour's wife
your kid's teacher
the teenage baby sitter

Voyeurism

This headspace fetish is most often associated with the illicit watching of others having sex. That is one aspect of it; the act of voyeurism is as much, however, as watching activities of a variety of types, from dances, strip shows, humiliation sessions, punishment, or power demonstrations. These all inadvertently give rise to desire and evoke powerful rushes of emotions and baser instincts within people.

Wrestling

The merger of participatory and action fetishes an observer-driven desire to see others in combat and participants to expose skills to an audience. The close contact and twisting of bodies as they compete for dominance triggers a hormonal response in many people. Be it two sweaty, burly men in a field or two scantily clad women in mud (or Jell-O), the results prompt people to imagine what it would be like if they were one of the contestants and being wrestled, forcing the other to submit; what reward would they demand?