Scamming and the Lifestyle

Scamming and the Lifestyle

by Aramock Nanuck

March 1999

It is a shame that this article had to be written. The internet and crime have largely merged. People cease being honest due to the anonymity the web provides. Criminals soon found it easy to use its various channels to get money from "dupes" with no repercussions. This article discusses scamming and provides guides on how to protect yourself.

Openness has made us Targets.

There have been numerous changes in recent years related to lifestyle—some beneficial, many detrimental. The worst of this has been those who manipulate those in the lifestyle to prey on their members. They are the ones with no real interest in the lifestyle but use it for their devious means.

Kink abused for Monetary Gain.

Over the last couple of decades, numerous cases have arisen where Doms have paid tens of thousands of dollars to locate and verify individuals. There has also been a growing phenomenon of financial domination of submissives. I've also noticed a significant increase in the fin-domme phenomenon.

These aberrations drive many serious members to lose faith in people, and most notably, their honour. Clearly, the world since the late 1990s has fostered the most selfish and despicable attitudes among the general public. Some of this has been a result of the “me attitude” due to the pressures of poverty, or directly because truth and honour bear no value in modern populations.

How it Happens

Men and women who are too lazy to work or too incapable of providing real value find ways to compensate themselves for what they deem their right, even if it hurts others they do not care about. The internet has made everyone anonymous and places utter disregard for others. These shameless and vile creatures don a fake mantle of Dom/ Domme or submissive/slave, then twist to earn money solely. In many cases, this shameful act is nothing more than glib prostitution without sex and usually little or no kink.

Money Driving Action

Lifestyle members actually appear to be, on average, more affluent than the mainstream average. The massive amounts of money extracted have made many targeted individuals suffer. Even if they can afford the losses, the effect is that they lose faith in society as a whole, doubt people, and retreat to a safe and closed world where such individuals cannot be salvaged.

One Fin-Domme's View

Recent conversations with one such fin-domme revealed that she seldom interacts with her subjects. She went on to say that in a bad year, she takes in over US$50,000. She also brags there is no end of “suckers” willing to believe her. The few she meets are all locals, whom she allows to lick her boots or beats them emotionally, destroying their sense of self-worth. She unequivocally states that she has no respect for any of them and only interacts at the bare minimum to continue the money flowing. One of her fin-submissives volunteered to talk to me and show how he pays out over US$ 40,000 a year just for the pleasure of being humiliated.

The Submissive Honeypot

Dominants are invariably far better off than submissives. They also invest huge amounts in their kink, toys and activities. To this end, it makes them even more vulnerable to attack. I have talked to dominants who search for new or replacement submissive have gotten sucked into honeypots with the same effects. Individuals claiming to be submissives engage them. They usually do not initially contact the individual but are typically targeted by one, then two, three or more from the same region or country.

Recent investigations discovered that many people caught scamming were run by organized crime or even terrorist groups. Hence, many countries now impose limits on the amount that can be transferred or the frequency of transfers per month.

A clear pattern emerges in all these scenarios, one that is well-practiced and widely shared. The purported submissive declares an interest and asks a few questions to gauge the intended target's interest. They quickly remove any limits, save for being able to interact and prove themselves due to legal and financial reasons. Then they begin to ask for simple support to continue contacting the target. Some token amount of the most dominant would be wasted on a good meal.

First Tastes

After some careful coaxing, they sent a random picture. Usually, it is a stunningly beautiful person who questions why they would seek this when they would undoubtedly attract much attention in their hometown. Discussing this, they usually have a sob story of distress or claim the desire to act abroad. Frequently, they claim to have been owned by a foreign owner. But when pressed, the owner abandoned them when returning home. Now they claim an evaluation or meeting and try to have you come to them. This is when they start to get their hooks into you. Believing they must be sincere to want to meet, your mind plans for the eventuality. Now, one of two things happens.

They may convince you to come to them, but invariably, they will live too far from where you can meet, so they will have to travel there. They will ask for help with that. Or
They claim not to have any valid travel documents. Additionally, they claim that obtaining them is an overly complex and costly process. In the Philippines, the Police (NBI and Barangay) release costs about $10 each. An NSO birth certificate costs $20. Not knowing this, they will ask for $ 100s to do this and, invariably, travel money. Frequently, they will ask to return to their hometowns to obtain the necessary documentation. By now, you are on the hook for $3-500.

Hooked and Played With

Now you appear committed and are ready to move to the next phase. You can start arranging your travel to meet or their journey to come to you. This can range from $ 100 to $ 1,000. With the tickets in hand, they know they have you.

Sometimes, before this, they introduce the concept of a family member or best friend joining as well. The idea of a two- or more) For one, it invariably excites the dominant, and they quickly ask what it would take to achieve it. Now, everything you have spent is multiplied by the number of people they have introduced. You never talk or see them, but you hear or see a random picture with the person you are supposedly talking to and one or two others. But they are never live-stream videos.

Bleeding the "Sucker"

Then, as the day approaches, a crisis typically occurs, usually within the first 2-3 weeks preceding the meeting. The various scenarios in order are:

Rent and back rent, along with utilities, must be paid. Without it, their landlord will not permit them to leave.
They have run out of food, and in desperation, all of the people now need your support to prevent imminent starvation.
Or they owe bills to a local merchant who has somehow obtained their travel documents, tickets, or similar items, and the merchant is holding them hostage until payment is made.
A medical crisis occurs.

Each of these scenarios will occur over about a 4-5 cycle, with the last one happening a couple of days before you are supposed to meet. By now, you are in the one group to the tune of between $1,500 and $3,000. It would help if you decided whether or not to cut your losses and run or continue.

The Closing Sache

The last event is typically held the day before you are scheduled to leave. Somehow, the authorities have been made aware of your intent, and they will meet at the designated location, which has changed. Even if you go through with the trip upon arrival, all contact ceases, and no one is there.

Who Benefits

Frequently, if organized crime or terrorists are behind this, you will have had half a dozen or more such contacts, each following precisely the same pattern. Now out $ 15,000-$ 20,000, your embarrassment prevents you from taking action or reporting it. The scammers get away with it.

A recent investigation into one such situation I paid for revealed that three-quarters of the people were, in fact, the same person running from the same location. It also showed the same internet café, and either MoneyGram, Western Union or a complicit transfer agent. This was turned over to the local police anonymously with indications of terrorism and money laundering. The Philippines was the country where a war on these occurred, and many extrajudicial responses have left numerous dead or disappeared.

Many view this as manipulative and deceitful. If people (paying) are told upfront and honestly what they will get for the money, I believe it is just another fetish. However, when the collector misrepresents or makes false commitments, it is pure user and scamming. I advocate making examples of these people, for without it, nothing will change.

Protecting Yourself

This site has a list of known scammers. I advocate registering many on StopScammers.com and other sites listed in the section on scammers. Keep a profile to understand the pattern. Keep records to know what you are sending and how to decide if it is a problem.

You can avoid this by following some hard and fast rules, many of which most people do not follow.

Never send money for any reason.
Never deal with Nigerians or other West Africans.
Never deal with the Philippines.
Avoid Brits. They invariably aren’t, but who does your thing teach the world the confidence game?
If it seems too good to be true… it is.

If you do send money (be prepared to pay for premium services)

Insist that it be sent to a dedicated receiving point, with one agent assigned to a specific area.
Insist on receipt confirmation, including the name and location.
Insist on identity verification
Prefer bank transfers to other money sending agents.
Insist on proof of life (like in kidnapping situations). In other words, a picture of the person you are sending the money to, holding a current paper showing clearly the main page and date on the paper, before sending the money.
If they fail in any way—no paper, wrong date, person's face blurry, picture altered (easy to detect by software today)—DON’T SEND THE MONEY.

It is your money. Understand that you are investing your trust and proof of commitment by sending it. They need to have as much responsibility as they have.

Scamming ... And avoiding it.

In this lifestyle, sincere people are often not attracted by looks, but rather their profile catches our attention. It struck a chord in us, and we wanted to explore the possibilities. Then, a lack of complete disclosure quickly follows, which challenges our original assumption. In all cases, it is used to scam. Attempting to get money from unwitting people. The right course of action is to stop immediately and forget everything. Report them if you have enough details. Flag them on sites you visit.

The Insincere

Their profile or subsequent correspondence failed to disclose some factors regarding the current situation. This is quickly followed by the announcement that they have a debt. We have all dealt with individuals before who made claims of distress or owed a debt to others and are not free to join, but they would be once the debt is settled.

The Sugar Baby or Boy

A socially astute and relatively good-looking individual wants to interact with you for a financial reward. They invariably differentiate themselves from prostitutes, but let's be honest, that is what they are doing, just not randomly or on a street corner. In some ways, this is even more nefarious as it preys on usually well-to-do older men and women.

The discussions start simply enough, and a general idea is agreed upon. They even interact in a limited intimate manner to "hook" the individual (did I mention hookers?). Usually, they immerse themselves in the individual's life, finding the key elements to attach to and begin offering the same. When it gets to the point of seriousness, many fail to start an honest negotiation; wanting to "go with the flow," some players are fine with this. But once pressed, the "sugar Child" believes they are in control and can manipulate the payer. This is where the items verbally agreed to be questioned. First of all, in locations (and there are many) where "sex for money" is allowed, it extends to kinky sex. Secondly, most figure they can get out of the contract, presenting a draft prepared by a lawyer, and they take it back quickly. \

\When serious negotiations start, they will want to defer the money. They will scramble and start limiting all their duties, removing many things verbally agreed upon, and wanting to make the absolute minimum of commitment. They will then attempt to invoke all forms of exceptions when their commitment failures do not impact their ability to collect funds.

Then the money negotiations will start. Never pleased with anything reasonable, they will always push the money to the next level. Frequently, they will want housing and medical procedures (e.g., breast enlargements, Reductions, etc.). This, in part, is a foundation for the emotional and mental hook to the payer that they are "helping" the sugar child. In fact, it is usually just a large windfall. Before the end of the first round of negotiations, they will then drop special requests (such as a luxury vacation or high-end shopping trip), and the payer, thinking they are closing the deal, eagerly agrees to this.

At this point, you need to assess the value of money. Are you getting an emotional value equal to the difference between what you thought was fair and what was asked by the sugar child? If not, ask yourself how much the number of encounters with a professional (mid to high-end) prostitute or pay per go kinkster costs. If it is what is being asked, you likely will not see it fulfilled. It is best to cut them off, update your social media and contacts to block them and then walk away.

Taking a Chance

But a few, in the spirit of fair play or because we are blindly hopeful, give individuals the opportunity to prove our current assessment wrong. We take a chance, but I suggest sending money only under the following conditions. Before considering doing so, they disclose exactly how much is expected! Little creeping will drain a person very quickly, and the person doing so only cares about the money, not about any effect it has on you. Be sure you can afford this before considering it.

Only do so on the transfer of property, in other words:

Set up a trust account that effectively covers these costs, as well as any associated travel expenses. On the person's arrival, the money is automatically released. This is the same procedure as when buying a house or livestock.
For a Sugar Child, merely make it a totally pay-per-play situation. They arrive, they perform, and they get their money for that session. If there is an overarching reward, make it conditional on their completing all services as requested. Again, put the funds in an escrow account, and once completed, the Sugar Child will gain access. If not, the money returns to the payer. But avoid providing freebies and extras along the way.

Alternatively

If they meet at some neutral spot, they can exchange face-to-face.

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