The Act of Surrender
The act of surrender (true submission) can equally be one filled with apprehension, trepidation, and fear; as well as being exhilarating, uplifting (and yes) truly liberating. The inspiration you receive from the act is as fulfilling as any other social change likely to happen in one’s life.
Sub-Space - A High
There is almost a spellbinding effect which occurs (“sub-space”) with the first session with a real dominant that takes the one to the edge of tolerance when they surrender. The closest to this a “vanilla” person gets is the release they feel when on a very relaxing, oriented to rejuvenating vacation. Conversely, the sense of exhilaration comes from an adventure vacation filled with high risk and very intensely activities. A submissive gets this all during those specific and feature-rich sessions with a dominant.
Freedom is an Illusion
The sense of helplessness gives you the vital energies to fuel their captivity. The lure of being trapped, control and monitored is passionately personal bordering on traumatic This stress comes from the mental questioning of just how far the dominant will go to force their will upon the submissive. Freedom is just one such illusion that a submissive and individuals outside the lifestyle (or authoritarian regimes) have in common. Liberty is not the same of freedom; even liberty has constraints based on the standards, customs, and regulations of the community.
Plato over 2000 years ago referred to this in “... the person who dares, to tell the truth, is called at once a lunatic and a fool.” Regimes like North Korea, China, Russia and even the US all restrict the truth and the liberties of their people. The US is probably far more dangerous and scary than other places because it simply does not need the openly apply a brutal but does so every time they see the need. Guantanamo Bay, Wiki-Leaks, Snowdon all are examples where freedom is a convenience they contrive for the masses, but in effect limit, it is a real application.
Dominants turn Illusion into the Alternative Lifestyle Reality
Dominants know this well, and even in the language, they choose words very particularly, to invoke specific responses and emotions. The more practiced a dominant becomes, the more this pattern becomes pervasive and even in day-to-day activities, at work or shopping, or even when talking to strangers, this affectation comes across. The dominant constantly plays with "the illusion" factor as they focus on the fulfillment of the fantasy needs of their submissive. The longer manifested fantasy for a submissive and substituted for considering “social” reality, the quicker and more deliberately they stride towards their submission and claim it as their own.
Back to society
Society constantly compels people to act by the will of the majority by coaching it as in the “best interest of the individual”; a good example of this is the “bicycle helmet laws.” The dominant uses the same constructs but with focus and specific effect on a few or the one. The difference is the dominant is far more honest than society; because they inevitably also clearly announce what benefit it is to themselves as well.It is one thing to have the sensation in your kit back and another entirely to realize that the actual security comes not from being able to slip the leash but rather knowing (like an errant dog) that if you run, you would return.
Freedom is Choice merged with Responsibility
Better yet the question of escape is real one of two where and from what. The reason why modern lifestyle slavery works is not that the few control the many, it is that the many accept it because it is the natural order of things. Submission is not a gift; it is a reality thrust upon someone who accepts it for the alternative is far worse to bear. For freedom has with it the responsibility to decide, to choose and to be accountable for the decisions you make. Whereas the act of submitting shifts the responsibility to the dominant. You surrender not because you want to but because the other choice means you must self-judge.
The intellectual discourse between dominant and submissive puts into words the actions they take. The realization occurs that the submissive and dominant are a part of dynamic which cannot exist without the other. The control, the sway of intellects, the throw of wills and wits generates its energy. Dominants get this energy from suppressing another's will which is their ultimate pleasure. A submissive gets a release as if lifting the burden of the ages through surrender. It is not the moment of surrender but rather the point at which both realize the submission is a fact. It the emotional equivalent of a runner’s high that then sustains the grueling race ahead.
Other activities like bondage, discipline, humiliation, and sex are merely affectations of this; ways in which to demonstrate and realize the control. It becomes clear that each party wants what the other offers, but you are afraid. Are you really afraid though of accepting it; or are you more afraid that maybe you will have an opportunity to live this life in as real an approximation as is possible into today's social correct and morally conscientious world as is possible? I offer dominance; total ways misuse what we do not understand. So understanding the psychology behind how BDSM works... helps us understand our place in it.