Munch Etiquette

by Aramock Nanuck

     Revised June 2021

When members of the kink community meet for a casual night of food and fellowship, it becomes a munch. The munches sponsored by Dark Castle Sin or the Fetish Atlantic Canada Throng are general, welcoming people of all roles, fetishes, sexual orientations, and gender identities/expressions. The only restriction is that the attendees must be of legal age. Munches happen at pubs, restaurants and other public venues. Frequently it is to meet new people or catch up with old friends.


What name do I use?


The choice is yours, but please wear a nametag. It promotes solidarity and helps people meet, distinguishes those registered for the munch and wandering random strangers.


What do I wear?


Wear what you want coming and going. If you're going to change into kink wear at the venue, there are facilities, but access to outdoors in the public view will be limited. We do ask discretion in all external street-facing portions of the facility.


Should I come early or late?


Early always, things do not get busy during the first hour, but after people settle in, it gets harder to meet people. If all you want is to observe, sit down and not talk to anyone, it is okay. Some people might come up and ask if you’d like company, but you can say no, and members will respect your space.


So what happens at a munch?


You show up, get a name tag, grab some food or drink and socialize.  There is a common theme of nervousness and then realizing once realizing it is a safe space. So don’t cease up and don’t overwhelm others. If it is your first time, then let people know. The truly experienced hands will guide you and give you the space to find your footing.


Must I  drink alcohol?


Not at all. Our venue is a restaurant/club – which is why we can welcome any adult – so there are a variety of non-alcoholic options (Juice, coffee, tea, pop, and there are always pitchers of water if preferred.)


How to start a conversation?


The conversation need not revolve around kink, although it often does. If lost for topics, try asking:

  • What’s your favourite event?

  • What other stuff do you attend?

  • I’m interested in learning about _____ – to whom should I talk?


What if I see someone I like?


Respecting boundaries is core to the kink community but saying hello is never offensive. Act with respect and dignity and say anything you would in a random public event. If the person you meet does not share interests or is inclined to converse, then give them space.


Can I bring friends?


If needing support, then bring a friend or a group. BUT, remember the point is to meet new people.  If you only chat with those you know, how will you meet new people? Do not treat those present as a “freak show”; there will be repercussions.


Can I bring my toys?


Bring your toys and treats to the munch is acceptable for us. But you are responsible for your own and not to interfere with others' items. Do not display in viewable public locations and keep them in private areas, like kinky outfits.


Is this a sex party?


Even with discretionary facilities, there are numerous restrictions in place which limit sexual activity. Best ask about restrictions before engaging in anything lurid.