Munch Etiquette

by Aramock Nanuck

Revised June 2021

When members of the kink community meet for a casual night of food and fellowship, it becomes a munch. The munches sponsored by Dark Castle Sin or the Fetish Atlantic Canada Throng are general, welcoming people of all roles, fetishes, sexual orientations, and gender identities/expressions. The only restriction is that the attendees must be of legal age. Munches often occur at pubs, restaurants, and other public venues. Frequently, it is to meet new people or catch up with old friends.

What name do I use?

The choice is yours, but please wear a nametag. It promotes solidarity and helps people meet, distinguishing those registered for the munch from wandering, random strangers.

What do I wear?

Wear what you want coming and going. If you're going to change into kink wear at the venue, there are facilities, but access to the outdoors in the public view will be limited. We kindly request that you exercise discretion in all external, street-facing areas of the facility.

Should I come early or late?

Preferably, please arrive on time or early; things don't get busy during the first hour, but after people settle in, it becomes harder to meet new people. If all you want is to observe, sit down and refrain from talking to anyone, that's okay. Some people might approach you and ask if you’d like company, but you can simply say no, and members will respect your space.

So what happens at a munch?

You arrive, pick up a name tag, grab some food or drink, and socialize. There is a common theme of nervousness, followed by the realization that it is a safe space. So don’t cease up and don’t overwhelm others. If it's your first time, please let people know. The truly experienced hands will guide you and provide the space for you to find your footing.

Must I drink alcohol?

Not at all. Our venue is a restaurant/club – which is why we can welcome any adult – so there are a variety of non-alcoholic options (Juice, coffee, tea, pop, and there are always pitchers of water if preferred.)

How to start a conversation?

The conversation need not revolve around kink, although it often does. If lost for topics, try asking:

What’s your favourite event?
What other stuff do you attend?
I’m interested in learning about _____ – to whom should I talk?

What if I see someone I like?

Respecting boundaries is core to the kink community, but saying hello is never offensive. Act with respect and dignity, and say anything you would in a random public event. If the person you meet does not share interests or is inclined to converse, then give them space.

Can I bring friends?

Remember, the point is to meet new people. If you need support, then bring a friend or a group. Also, depending on the venue and event, there may be:

Restrictions
- Against non-fetish participants,
- Members-only
- Age-Limits,
- Representation (don't crash a gender specific event if you're not a part of it).
Prepaid tickets to the event
May not be tickets at the door,
Fetish wear requirements.

If you only chat with those you know, how will you meet new people? Do not treat those present as a “freak show”; there will be repercussions.

Can I bring my toys?

Bring your toys and treats to the munch, depending on the rules posted by the event organizer. However, you are responsible for your items and not for interfering with others' belongings. Do not display in viewable public locations and keep them in private areas, like kinky outfits.

Is this a sex party?

Even with discretionary facilities, there are numerous restrictions in place which limit sexual activity. It's best to inquire about restrictions before engaging in any activity.